How to manage work stress- what to do when work is getting on your nerves

Ever had that one persistent annoyance that just won't quit, lurking in the background and disrupting your groove while you're trying to get things done? You know what I’m talking about. It could be that “special” thing (or person) that just grates on the last nerve you have for the day.

Whether you're striving for excellence in your career, pursuing personal goals, or seeking fulfillment in various aspects of life, navigating through tough times requires resilience, determination, and a proactive mindset. In this article, I want to explore some practical strategies to transcend work stress and take charge when faced with that one thing getting on your nerves or causing you work stress. I want to help empower you to maintain peak performance and achieve your goals with confidence.

Understanding Work Frustration

Work frustration can stem from various sources, including tight deadlines, demanding projects, interpersonal conflicts, and feelings of overwhelm. When I mention overwhelm, in this context, I’m talking about that feeling you may have of being  mentally or emotionally overloaded by any or all of the stressors I mentioned, resulting in heightened anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of helplessness.

You may be reading these things thinking you can skip this article because you don’t feel like those type of feelings relate but check this out… maybe your work stress feels manifests as headaches or fatigue, increased irritability (which you may carry over to your personal life), procrastination or avoidance of tasks, decreased productivity, social withdrawal, and heightened perfectionism, all of which may not be immediately recognized as indicators of stress. 

As a leader, you may find yourself grappling with the pressure to excel, meet expectations, and overcome obstacles with grace and efficiency while everyone around you gets to act like the biggest a–hole of the year. However, it's essential to recognize that experiencing frustration is not a sign of weakness, but rather an opportunity to learn about the power of transmuting that energy to use it for your personal  growth and self-mastery.

Embracing Your Locus of Control

I often find myself guiding clients through the crucial concept of energy management, emphasizing the importance of discerning where to allocate their energy and effort based on what is within their control. This is central to transcending the trap of getting sucked into a situation of work stress and its impact on your well-being—embracing your locus of control, the belief in your ability to influence and shape your circumstances. Specifically, your internal locus of control.

This means understanding that while external factors may impact circumstances, your thoughts, attitudes, and actions ultimately shape your experiences and responses. By embracing the internal locus of control, you empower yourself to proactively manage your well-being amidst work stress, recognizing your capacity to cultivate resilience, adaptability, and positive mindset shifts that foster growth and fulfillment. 

So, let's apply this to dealing with work stress. When I talk about your internal locus of control in the context of work, it's about how you perceive the sources of stress and your ability to manage them. For instance, if you have an internal locus of control, you'll approach work challenges by focusing on what you can do to address them, like improving your skills or adjusting your mindset. You'll see setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. 

On the other hand, if you have an external locus of control, you might feel overwhelmed by work stress because you believe it's caused by factors outside your control, like your boss's demands or office politics. This mindset can leave you feeling powerless and unable to effectively cope with the stressors you encounter. 

While it's understandable to feel that external factors like your boss's demands or office dynamics contribute significantly to work stress, it's also worth considering how our responses and perceptions play a role. While we can't always control external circumstances, we do have agency in how we react to them. By focusing on what aspects of the situation we can influence, such as our mindset, communication strategies, or boundary-setting skills, we can often mitigate the impact of external stressors and regain a sense of control over our well-being.

By recognizing the role of locus of control in managing work stress, you can take proactive steps to cultivate an internal locus of control, empowering yourself to tackle challenges head-on and build resilience in the face of workplace pressures.

Since you are always striving for more out of life,  you need to understand the power of taking ownership of your actions and choices (an article about what real ownership means can be found here), rather than succumbing to external factors or circumstances beyond your control. By cultivating an internal locus of control, you empower yourself to respond to challenges with resilience, adaptability, and a sense of purpose. In contrast, maintaining an external locus of control leads to feelings of helplessness and a diminished sense of agency in shaping your circumstances. This mindset often results in a reactive rather than proactive approach to adversity, hindering your ability to bounce back from stress and adapt—two integral traits needed for personal and professional growth.

Practical Strategies for Taking Charge:

Reframe Your Perspective: Reframing refers to the process of shifting one's perspective or interpretation of a situation in order to see it in a more positive or constructive light. While the concept of reframing may seem straightforward, it can indeed be challenging to implement, as it requires conscious effort and practice to change ingrained thought patterns and beliefs.

For example, let's consider a new manager named Lena who initially struggled with work frustration. Lena found herself constantly stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of her new role, viewing each setback as a failure and feeling discouraged. However, with the support of our coaching sessions, she learned to reframe her perspective on challenges.

Instead of seeing obstacles as insurmountable barriers, she began to view them as opportunities for growth and development. She approached each challenge with a mindset of curiosity and resilience, asking herself, "What can I learn from this?" or "How can I use this experience to improve?"

Through this process of reframing, she not only became more adept at handling work frustration but also discovered her own strengths and capabilities as a leader. She embraced setbacks as valuable learning experiences and leveraged them to enhance her leadership skills, driving innovation and fostering a culture of personal excellence within her team.

In her case, reframing her perspective allowed her to overcome work frustration and thrive in her role as a new manager, demonstrating that with dedication and practice, it is indeed possible to shift one's mindset and transform challenges into opportunities for growth.

Identify Triggers

Take time to identify the specific triggers—stimuli or events—that contribute to work frustration. Whether it's unrealistic expectations, lack of communication, perfectionism, or other factors, understanding the root causes of frustration empowers you to address them effectively and proactively. Recognizing these triggers allows you to develop targeted strategies for managing stress and enhancing your overall well-being in the workplace. Triggers are stimuli or events that evoke strong emotional reactions or stress responses, and by identifying them, you can gain insight into the factors contributing to your work frustration. Moreover, by transmuting these triggers into drivers or motivators, you can leverage them as catalysts for positive change and personal growth.

Cultivate Resilience: Strengthen your resilience muscles by embracing setbacks, failures, and obstacles as inherent aspects of the journey towards success. Cultivate resilience through practices such as mindfulness, self-reflection, and learning from adversity. Remember, resilience is not about avoiding challenges, but rather about bouncing back stronger and wiser each time. Recognizing when you lack resilience in the face of work stress involves noticing patterns of prolonged negative emotional responses, difficulty in recovering from setbacks, or feeling overwhelmed by routine challenges. It's important to address these signs by actively working on building resilience through self-care, seeking support from others, and developing coping strategies tailored to your needs and circumstances. By cultivating resilience, you equip yourself with the ability to navigate work stress more effectively and maintain a sense of balance and well-being in the face of adversity.

Want some help with this? Listen to this podcast episode- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/building-resilience-the-key-to-thriving-in-healthcare/id1460591785?i=1000622180172

Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. As a high performer, you may face demands and expectations from various sources, but it's essential to prioritize self-care and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Learn to say no to tasks or commitments that don't align with your priorities and values.

If you feel overwhelmed by external pressures you can't control coming at you,, it's crucial to recognize that establishing clear boundaries is an essential aspect of self-care and well-being. While it may seem challenging to assert boundaries in a demanding work environment, prioritizing self-care is not a sign of weakness but rather a necessity for maintaining resilience and productivity. By learning to say no to tasks or commitments that don't align with your priorities and values or negotiating on how your work is done, you reclaim control over your time and energy, allowing you to focus on what truly matters to you. Setting boundaries isn't about avoiding responsibility but rather about ensuring that you can perform at your best by safeguarding your mental and emotional resources. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only essential for your personal health but also for your long-term success and fulfillment as a high performer.

If you fear that respectfully asserting yourself will cause you to lose your job… Here's the kicker, you’re going to end up losing your job in the long run anyway… or even worse, losing yourself.

It's understandable to feel hesitant about setting limits. However, it's essential to recognize that sacrificing your well-being for the sake of job security is ultimately unsustainable and can lead to burnout and decreased performance in the long run.

Instead, consider reframing boundaries as essential tools for maintaining your effectiveness and longevity in your role. By communicating your boundaries respectfully and assertively, you demonstrate professionalism and self-respect, which can earn respect from colleagues and other leaders alike. Additionally, establishing clear boundaries can actually increase your productivity and effectiveness by allowing you to focus on tasks that align with your priorities and contribute most to your success.

Furthermore, remember that advocating for your well-being doesn't mean you're being selfish or neglecting your responsibilities. It's about recognizing your own value and ensuring that you're able to continue contributing effectively over the long term. If you're concerned about potential backlash from asserting boundaries, consider discussing your concerns with a trusted colleague, mentor, or HR professional for support and guidance.

Ultimately, prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries is an investment in your long-term success and well-being, and it's essential to advocate for yourself in the workplace to maintain a healthy work-life balance and sustainable career trajectory.

Here's a free worksheet if you struggle with boundary setting- https://resources.yashicalind.com/pl/123037

Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself during moments of frustration and difficulty. You may hold yourself to high standards, but it's essential to recognize your humanity and imperfections. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a trusted friend facing similar challenges.

Seek Support

Don't hesitate to reach out for support from colleagues, mentors, or coaches during times of frustration. Surround yourself with a supportive network of individuals who understand your goals, challenges, and aspirations. Seek guidance, feedback, and encouragement from those who can offer valuable insights and perspectives. Working with a coach, like myself, can provide significant benefits in managing work stress and navigating the demands of a high-profile role.

Through our work together, you can gain clarity on your goals and priorities, develop strategies for managing stress and building resilience, and cultivate a healthier work-life balance. It offers a safe and confidential space to explore challenges, identify strengths, and overcome obstacles, empowering you to reach your full potential.

Many clients experience a sense of relief and liberation through coaching, as they gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their circumstances, and learn practical tools and techniques for managing stress and enhancing performance. Having the support of a coach can also provide accountability and motivation to stay focused on your goals, even during challenging times.

In a demanding or high-profile role, having a coach can be particularly valuable, as it offers personalized support tailored to your specific needs and circumstances. I can help you navigate complex interpersonal dynamics, develop effective communication strategies, and maintain a strong sense of self amidst external pressures. By investing in coaching, you invest in your own well-being, growth, and success, setting yourself up for long-term fulfillment and excellence in your professional endeavors. If you want to see if coaching is right for you, book a time to talk about it. There's no selling involved—just exploring if it's the next right step and getting you set up if it is. Go here: https://bit.ly/strategyappointment

Transcending work stress is not just about overcoming obstacles; it's about embracing the journey with courage, resilience, and determination. You have the power to take charge when things get tough, turning challenges into opportunities for growth and success. By embracing your locus of control, adopting practical strategies, and maintaining a positive mindset, you can navigate through work frustration with confidence and grace, emerging stronger and more resilient on the other side. Remember, adversity is not a roadblock but a stepping stone towards your highest potential.




About Yashica Lind - Your High-Performance Coach

As a dedicated high-performance coach, I specialize in guiding individuals like you towards unlocking their peak potential. I'm not just a coach; I'm your partner in the journey toward sustained success, fulfillment, and growth.

With a wealth of experience in coaching, I've empowered hundreds of individuals, all over the world, to break through barriers, elevate their standards, and achieve results that once seemed out of reach. My approach blends practical strategies, mindset mastery, and intentional living to create a holistic path to success.

My commitment goes beyond traditional coaching. I am invested in your success and well-being. Together, we'll navigate the intricacies of intentional living, strategic goal-setting, and continuous improvement.

Book Your Complimentary Consultation: Ready to take the first step towards your true success? Schedule a complimentary coaching consultation now.

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